Free (non)Thinking…

A very good friend of mine advocates ‘No Box Thinking’ . In fact , in a past chapter of her eclectic life, she wrote and delivered seminars about it.  I’ve not seen her seminar…perhaps I should watch it, I’m sure there’s a video or podcast out there somewhere.

Anyway, the premise is based around forgetting the sales/marketing propaganda of ‘thinking outside the box’ and instead just get rid of the damned box.  Sounds like perfect sense to me.  In fact I thought I lived by this very premise: not pigeon holing life; not following set paths.  I really believed that not only did I agree with the overarching idea, but that I was successfully both teaching that ideology to my son and leading by example.  I really thought I was living without a box.

Then I went away for a couple of nights and realised that whilst I live outside of the ‘norm’ and largely don’t conform by walking the marked paths of progress and expectation; my life, like most people’s, has become so full and busy that I only see outside the near peripheries of what I already do.

My boxes may be large and colourful, and not particularly cuboid, but they still exists.  I’m still constrained by them.

A few hours into a car journey towards a rare 2 days off for a little R&R and my busy little mind wandered off ; it meandered outside of its normal constraints and met up with some random ideas and options.

I thought I had life sussed, but I realise now that my life lacks one vital ingredient for ‘no box thinking’ … that ingredient is best described as ‘Nothing time’;  moments of time where the mind is not processing data; not reviewing existing projects and ‘to do’ lists; not worrying about outstanding commitments; pressing engagements; the shopping; the cleaning; the kids; work ; phone calls that should have been made; emails that need to be sent; letters that need to be composed.  I’m talking about those rare moments when your mind is silent.

freedom butterfly

Perhaps silent is the wrong word.  I mean moments when the butterfly cage of the mind is opened and the butterfly can flutter off and explore the wider landscape and take an aerial view of life.

Precious moments of free (non)thinking have broadened my horizons.  I’ve viewed my landscape from way above the ceiling I’m normally constrained by and as such I’ve spotted a few more paths worth exploring.

Like me, you may already have a life full of joy and activities; love and fun; as well as work and routine. Like me you may not crave anything else: BUT I challenge you to afford yourself some nothing time, a few moments of free (non)thinking, and see where your imagination might take you…….

Dinah Liversidge is now a small holder, country dweller, crafter, active community member, wedding celebrant, motivator and general super cool superstar of a woman living in rural wales and I am lucky enough to call her my friend.  In a past life chapter she was a life coach and mentor and ocasionally she slips back into it both officially and unofficially.  She once mentioned to me her program of no box thinking and it stuck in my head.  When i am lucky enough to have her to myself for a few hours, i find her inspirational.  i never leave from time with her without a spark alight in my mind and the ideas and energy just flows from there. we may not even have been talking about the project i become motivated to do.; but I am always more alive and more motivated after some time with her…  you can find her here... or here…

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Have an opinion and don’t be afraid to express yourself…..

It’s probably fair to say that in the world of democracy, debate, freedom of speech and public access to information the road around here has been somewhat pot-holed and winding and subject to hidden dips.

When we compare ourselves with much of the world we live in a liberal, free thinking society where everyone can have an opinion, speak their mind and state their views without fear of retribution.

Freedom means the right of people to assemble, organize, and debate openly.” – Hillary Clinton

Personally I love a good old debate and even a heated discussion with friends, acquaintances, strangers and professionals with alternative views to mine.  I welcome the challenges, thought processes, analysis and outcomes of these.  Sometimes my views express those of the majority, sometimes not.  Sometimes they raise awareness of situations that others may not, but would benefit from being aware of or having the opportunity to comment on, sometimes not.  Sometimes I come away with a changed opinion on receipt of new information and different viewpoints.  Often I come away wiser.

People always have an opinion. Doesn’t mean it’s right, doesn’t mean it’s wrong, but we have to respect their opinion.” – Michael Clarke Duncan

Very rarely do I take a difference of view as a personal affront.  Democracy and life in a free state encourage this.  Friendship and business allow for and compromise this.  I have many friends with different views to me on many topics, including ‘the biggies’ – you know, the ones that should be avoided at dinner parties – politics, religion, sexual preferences.  I actually enjoy these topics over a meal, but only if those I’m with can accept alternative positions (excuse the pun to point 3!) without being personally offended.  No-one wants to upset friends so sometimes it is prudent to agree to differ and avoid those topics.

Truth is one forever absolute, but opinion is truth filtered through the moods, the blood, the disposition of the spectator.” – Wendell Phillips

However in business and community issues there are often times when differences in opinion and preferred outcome need to be vociferously defended or challenged.

If you take a strong stance and have a clear opinion or statement on any subject …, you’re going to polarize people. And without that polarity, there’s no discussion. Discussion is what I want, which means that I’m fine with the consequences.” –Tim Ferriss

For various reasons this last 12 months or so have seen this arise on a few occasions.  Sadly, despite the intention to the contrary, some professional people have chosen to take the challenges personally.  It’s very sad to see people still angry and offended by issues that were not personally theirs to start with, long after the issue has been resolved or forgotten.  These issues were challenged on principal and prospective outcome rather than attacks on any individuals personality.

I love argument, I love debate. I don’t expect anyone just to sit there and agree with me, that’s not their job.” – Margaret Thatcher

Over time, changes in priority, personnel, the arrival of new issues and (to be honest) downright boredom to continue, seem to have begun to bring forth a more relaxed, commonsense and balanced dialogue.  Plus, I’m glad to say, the majority of the people involved, and certainly those whose input, views, actions and opinions I respect, have returned to, or remained on friendly, polite and respectful terms.  Despite the ongoing difference of opinion on the subjects concerned. We have (and, here we show evidence of effective democratic process) reached a point where we can move on having resolved some issues, bypassed others and decided that some are simply not important enough to continue expending energy on.

“What we have to do… is to find a way to celebrate our diversity and debate our differences without fracturing our communities.” – Hilary Clinton

I hope we have all learned lessons, moved forward, and come out of the debate with our consciences intact our honour upheld and our understanding of each other all the greater.

Remember, for every war the ‘good guys’ are those on whose side you are sat, the enemy is always the opposing side!

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not fact.  Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” – Marcus Aurelius

We should never be afraid of speaking our minds or stand up on issues that we feel important.  But we should also remember to realise that not everyone will have the same view but we can all live together despite our differences and sometimes, we should celebrate those differences.

If all mankind minus one were of one opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind.” – John Stuart Mill