My hope, as I write this is to discover that some of you relate to this (you ladies at least 😉 ). I’m a little fearful, however that as you read it you will simply decide I have a mental health issue. After decades of experience, I genuinely believe (except during those periods of time when I’m engulfed by it) that it is hormone related and a collective group of PMT symptoms. The medical profession, in my experience, continue to ignore them and prefer to diagnose and treat the symptoms rather than the cause.
Some months pass by with almost no changes, some, where I may have a day or two of low tolerance (sorry John!!!); most provide at least one day of thickheadedness, lethargy and the like. About every third month it results in a migraine and vomiting. A cycle within the cycle. Then every so often possibly every 4th month this happens:
A complete paralysis of common sense/ desire/ self belief/ grasp of, takes hold coupled with what can only be described as ‘flu’ symptoms – thick head, poor temperature control, aching, tiredness and topped off with a fuzzy mental state. By fuzzy mental state I mean vivid dreams which mix obvious dream situations with ‘alternative’ realities rendering the ‘real’ reality and ‘alternatives’ whisked together in the mind so whilst awake I confuse what is real and what was dream and feel the emotions associate with the ‘alternative’ towards those involved and become unsure of which reality is the real state of events. Mad? Probably!
Its exhausting trying to unpick the real world from the dream one. I’m left disorientated at worst, unsettled and confused at best. I need to sleep (a lot), I feel ‘unwell’ and I struggle to function effectively. It can last one day , it can occasionally last as long as four (which is horrific). O M G.
So today is day 3 and I’m trying to grasp onto ‘me’ . To do this I’m sharing with all of you. Sorry if it bothers you, but we have an unspoken agreement that lets me share these things. Thanks! The act of sharing helps. You are welcome to share your traumas in return. xxx